My Journey to Fitness
It is said that everything happens for a reason. That what happens to the person you are today shapes who you will become tomorrow. And though an obvious sentiment, it is looking back now that I realize the true validity of both these proclamations.
“Amanda, you are overweight”. A statement that shouldn’t have taken me by surprise, but ultimately forced me into reality during my yearly physical. Overweight at age 25, 180lbs on a small frame and a height of only 5’5. I was unhealthy.
It was immediately after this visit that I began to reflect on all the events that brought me to this point in my life. As a child I was painfully awkward, and faced the ridicule from my peers that is all too common for a chubby introvert with glasses. While other girls can look back and recall their schoolyard crush smiling back at them, I distinctly remember mine calling me fat during gym class.
I began to develop anxiety panic disorder at the age of 8 years old, which in those times was often misdiagnosed or in my case, thought to be attention-seeking behaviour. An extended family member provided me with nothing but consistent verbal abuse, and eventually the ceaseless negativity from her and my peers caused complete degradation of my self-worth and image. This was not helped in later years, when I would come to have my first boyfriend, who incidentally was also verbally abusive and further hindered my ability to “love myself”.
My immediate family has always been loving and supportive of me, and for this I am grateful. We grew up with celebrations of deep fry, fatty, sugary (and obviously delicious) foods, with little care to their nutritional content. Our daily caloric intake was no better than those celebrations, and in a home with two working parents it was difficult to do meal planning for a family of 5, so it would often become the cheapest and easiest solution to grab fast food for the family on the way home. This, paired with my growing anxiety lead to increased weight gain, and eventually an inability to cope with what was to follow.
At 18 years old I suffered nerve damage, severe whiplash, and broken teeth in a car accident that left me with trauma I would carry into the following years of my life. I endured extensive rehab and psychological therapy, and while I did make progress physically, being in a car is still a struggle for me. There is a history of depression in my family, and having seen first-hand the struggle one faces in anti-depressant selection, I decided that natural healing was the best choice for me.
A few years later I was getting married, to a man who I had settled for because he treated me better than the others had (though he did not have to do much to accomplish this). Six years later we were divorced and my inability to cope with knowing he had not been the one for me lead me to “eat my feelings” through the entire 6 years.
And there I was, sitting in that doctor’s office, being told what I really knew all along. It was time for a change, an unabridged change, for my mind, body, and spirit.
As a dedicated fitness guru, my best friend Scott encouraged me to finally join a gym. He inspired me to be who I have always wanted to be. A soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back and brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. For me, this was Scott. I became dedicated to achieving my goals with my body, and as the weight came off it became an addiction to see results and be proud of myself.
In 2010 Scott passed away in a tragic car accident. I was broken. My grieving process was an all-encompassing spiritual journey of self-reflection. Through all of this I found my most authentic self. Physical activity became a form of therapy for me, to release all the negative emotions that had accumulated through the years, and find who I truly was. I learned how unhappy I was with my life, and that Scott’s final lesson to me was that life is too short to be unhappy.
When I told my mother my decision to enter the world of body building I was apprehensive, unsure of what she would say or if she would understand the extreme changes I would still need to make. My mother looked at me and said “Well Amanda, if you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance” (no poetic license taken, she actually said this). And so it began.
The next week I was at the Toronto Pro Show as a Generation Iron girl and taking pictures with Mr. Olympia Phil Heath, and other IFBB pros. I competed as a Bikini Athlete in the Canadian Physique Association and gained a family in competition teams such as Team Starr and Team T-Rex along with my sponsorship's; Magnum Nutraceuticals, Bikinilicous and Performance panties. I even started modeling and in 2017 I was published in the magazine Inside Fitness Top 100 Hot and Fit Women of Canada! I finally got to reach out to so many people and they say when you stand and share your story in an empowering way, Your story will heal your and your story will heal someone else. I knew then that this was a world I wanted to be part of.
But in 2015 and 2016 I started to notice shifts in my health and was too busy to take it seriously. I had ignored symptoms which crept up on me overtime. My whole life came to a pause and to me, my dreams seemed to disappear. I became consumed with finding answers and in the process my physical and mental health continued to decline. From swelling in my stomach and legs, patches of hair loss, redness, rashes, vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness, food sensitivities, weight gain, brain fog, depression and anxiety...it became crippling and I could no longer do daily activities and became house bound. After consulting with Medical Doctors time and time again, I was given no results.
In the process of looking for answers I started to explore Naturopath protocols and testing, resources on healing with food and supplements. I discovered that unresolved trauma, gut health, the products we use on our bodies and food we consume was the source of my issues. Little did I realize how much impact certain foods and products claimed to be safe, would play on my physical and mental health overtime. Now everything I use, I inspect and read because I know how important my health is. During my journey to wellness I realized that this dark time in my life happened for a reason. It clicked!
It is in all of this that I realize how many people have a story that mimics mine, and how many people are still suffering. So though I want to achieve personal wellness, more than anything I want to inspire others. I want them to know that it wasn’t easy, but it is always possible. That despite all negative influences in their lives, it is within them to find empowerment and positivity through healing the mind, body and soul.
I welcome everyone to follow me on my journey to wellness!
“Amanda, you are overweight”. A statement that shouldn’t have taken me by surprise, but ultimately forced me into reality during my yearly physical. Overweight at age 25, 180lbs on a small frame and a height of only 5’5. I was unhealthy.
It was immediately after this visit that I began to reflect on all the events that brought me to this point in my life. As a child I was painfully awkward, and faced the ridicule from my peers that is all too common for a chubby introvert with glasses. While other girls can look back and recall their schoolyard crush smiling back at them, I distinctly remember mine calling me fat during gym class.
I began to develop anxiety panic disorder at the age of 8 years old, which in those times was often misdiagnosed or in my case, thought to be attention-seeking behaviour. An extended family member provided me with nothing but consistent verbal abuse, and eventually the ceaseless negativity from her and my peers caused complete degradation of my self-worth and image. This was not helped in later years, when I would come to have my first boyfriend, who incidentally was also verbally abusive and further hindered my ability to “love myself”.
My immediate family has always been loving and supportive of me, and for this I am grateful. We grew up with celebrations of deep fry, fatty, sugary (and obviously delicious) foods, with little care to their nutritional content. Our daily caloric intake was no better than those celebrations, and in a home with two working parents it was difficult to do meal planning for a family of 5, so it would often become the cheapest and easiest solution to grab fast food for the family on the way home. This, paired with my growing anxiety lead to increased weight gain, and eventually an inability to cope with what was to follow.
At 18 years old I suffered nerve damage, severe whiplash, and broken teeth in a car accident that left me with trauma I would carry into the following years of my life. I endured extensive rehab and psychological therapy, and while I did make progress physically, being in a car is still a struggle for me. There is a history of depression in my family, and having seen first-hand the struggle one faces in anti-depressant selection, I decided that natural healing was the best choice for me.
A few years later I was getting married, to a man who I had settled for because he treated me better than the others had (though he did not have to do much to accomplish this). Six years later we were divorced and my inability to cope with knowing he had not been the one for me lead me to “eat my feelings” through the entire 6 years.
And there I was, sitting in that doctor’s office, being told what I really knew all along. It was time for a change, an unabridged change, for my mind, body, and spirit.
As a dedicated fitness guru, my best friend Scott encouraged me to finally join a gym. He inspired me to be who I have always wanted to be. A soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back and brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. For me, this was Scott. I became dedicated to achieving my goals with my body, and as the weight came off it became an addiction to see results and be proud of myself.
In 2010 Scott passed away in a tragic car accident. I was broken. My grieving process was an all-encompassing spiritual journey of self-reflection. Through all of this I found my most authentic self. Physical activity became a form of therapy for me, to release all the negative emotions that had accumulated through the years, and find who I truly was. I learned how unhappy I was with my life, and that Scott’s final lesson to me was that life is too short to be unhappy.
When I told my mother my decision to enter the world of body building I was apprehensive, unsure of what she would say or if she would understand the extreme changes I would still need to make. My mother looked at me and said “Well Amanda, if you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance” (no poetic license taken, she actually said this). And so it began.
The next week I was at the Toronto Pro Show as a Generation Iron girl and taking pictures with Mr. Olympia Phil Heath, and other IFBB pros. I competed as a Bikini Athlete in the Canadian Physique Association and gained a family in competition teams such as Team Starr and Team T-Rex along with my sponsorship's; Magnum Nutraceuticals, Bikinilicous and Performance panties. I even started modeling and in 2017 I was published in the magazine Inside Fitness Top 100 Hot and Fit Women of Canada! I finally got to reach out to so many people and they say when you stand and share your story in an empowering way, Your story will heal your and your story will heal someone else. I knew then that this was a world I wanted to be part of.
But in 2015 and 2016 I started to notice shifts in my health and was too busy to take it seriously. I had ignored symptoms which crept up on me overtime. My whole life came to a pause and to me, my dreams seemed to disappear. I became consumed with finding answers and in the process my physical and mental health continued to decline. From swelling in my stomach and legs, patches of hair loss, redness, rashes, vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness, food sensitivities, weight gain, brain fog, depression and anxiety...it became crippling and I could no longer do daily activities and became house bound. After consulting with Medical Doctors time and time again, I was given no results.
In the process of looking for answers I started to explore Naturopath protocols and testing, resources on healing with food and supplements. I discovered that unresolved trauma, gut health, the products we use on our bodies and food we consume was the source of my issues. Little did I realize how much impact certain foods and products claimed to be safe, would play on my physical and mental health overtime. Now everything I use, I inspect and read because I know how important my health is. During my journey to wellness I realized that this dark time in my life happened for a reason. It clicked!
It is in all of this that I realize how many people have a story that mimics mine, and how many people are still suffering. So though I want to achieve personal wellness, more than anything I want to inspire others. I want them to know that it wasn’t easy, but it is always possible. That despite all negative influences in their lives, it is within them to find empowerment and positivity through healing the mind, body and soul.
I welcome everyone to follow me on my journey to wellness!